While attending the Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy training in California, participants had the option of doing two different journeys with the medicine. In preparation, we had to spend time in contemplation in order to set an intention. We also had to fast for about 4 hours (the medicine can induce vomiting in sensitive individuals, so it’s best to abstain from eating for a few hours in advance). A few days before, we had each met with a physician who gave us a physical, asked some questions, and took our blood pressure. (There are times when individuals with high blood pressure are not able to participate with the medicine, because the medicine increases blood pressure naturally). Other contraindications for the medicine are certain mental health diagnosis, like psychosis and schizophrenia. Also, depending on what psychotropics are being taken, some would be asked to come off meds for a few days in advance of journey with the ketamine.
For the first session, we did a liquid oral, which is said to offer a smoother, sustainable journey than some of the other methods. Only about 20% of the oral actually reaches the blood stream. Being a liquid, we were asked to hold it in our mouths and swish for 15 minutes, then either spit or swallow. Nervous, as it was my first journey with ketamine, I decided to spit. All was fine until about 13 minutes in to the swishing. Staff gave a two minute warning and I found myself having some difficulty with the liquid because I couldn’t feel my mouth or face (ketamine is a numbing agent). Right as it became completely unbearable, I was able to spit and laid down (at which point I felt more comfortable).
My intention was simply to know the medicine. That morning, I was bit on the bottom of my foot by a spider, so I was also working in spider medicine: https://www.shamanicjourney.com/spider-power-animal-symbol-of-creation-weaving-our-realities-infinity-balance-past-present-and-future I sat with my partner, Lenka, and we drew some cards from an archetype deck. We drew River and Mountain. When we returned from break, one of the staff members played a song and invited us to dance. The song was called, “The River”.
The following is an excerpt from my journal, describing my experience, “Once I laid down, I felt better. At the tree [my journey tree], I noticed hundreds of yellow and white with black butterflies landing all over me. I could feel the wind generated by their wings and their tiny legs tickled my skin. I recall standing at a mountain and feeling the wind, perhaps BE-ing the wind. The wind whispered it’s medicine; time and place for force versus gentility. Balance. I saw a river and invited my sitter [Lenka} to come join me. I pulled her by her arm and invited her to play with me. We played and danced in the river for a time. Then I saw everyone in the room, linking hands, floating on our bellies, creating a circular starburst shape. I then saw a vision of a spider web, with a bundle of eggs all cocooned up. I thought about the qualities of a web- creation, home, sustenance. Webs are strong, yet move with the wind. I heard some auditory distortions in the sound. I heard someone talking about his baby and saw a small baby wrapped in a green leaf.”
In addition, Lenka took some notes about what she heard me say while I was journeying. Here are some highlights, “Butterflies everywhere, transformation. Walk softly on the Earth and only use force when necessary. I see myself as a grandmother; she appears in everyone. She sees, feels, and senses through distortion. I see the grandmother in everyone I have connected with. I see a praying mantis, very big and black. (For more about the meaning of praying mantis medicine, read this: https://crystalclearintuition.com/praying-mantis-meaning/). I watch as it devours and digests, transforming one material to another. Lots of galactic beings that look all kinds of ways; light so bright. Nest was so special; spider webbing with eggs. Every seed/egg was a dyad, clusters of them. I knew I had a body, but was the observer. Realization about the grey being I’ve seen; we have been helping one another. We put each a hand over the other’s heart. Both of us needed one another. The grey needed to learn expression of emotion. I, to be the observer. I am not afraid anymore. I know I can always find the mountain, the river, the wind. I am crying, but not because of sadness; it’s awe.”
Here are some realizations that came from my journey:
-I don’t need medicine to enhance my journey; perhaps that is a gift
-The journey showed me how to develop courage and resolve to journey into the unknown and accept whatever comes up
-I feel more accepting of others
-I am firm in my understanding that I don’t need medicine to experience my connection (with either my Self or the ALL)
-My yoga practice is more complete and I am more focused
-My third eye space complete shifted and transformed through this process. It became the Eye of Horus. Synchronistically, when I shared this with Lenka, she lifted her shirt and showed me a tattoo on her arm- the Eye of Horus (see the Eye of Horus in the praying mantis link above as well- so so many synchronicities)
-Having a “sitter” or person who sits with throughout the journey is of the utmost importance. Not only do they help hold space, but they help to bring forth more of the message. By the time I wrote in my journal, I had missed a lot of what came through; information my sitter was able to capture for me, which was integral to the integration process
I had also started to develop what felt like a migraine during the day. It was completely diminished by the time I completed the journey. I later realized that one of my roommates had been suffering with a migraine all day. I had been picking up on her energy. I did some clearing and protection work and noticed I could benefit from learning to differentiate Self from Other better.
This process actually initiated a series of events in my life whereby I have HAD to develop better skills for protection and differentiation, so that’s been interesting as well (more on that in a future post).
Have a wonder-filled Thursday!
Lori
