Happy Thursday and Merry Summer Solstice (I know, I’m late- it was the 21st!)!!!
The Summer Solstice is the brightest day of the year (it’s the longest as well). From this point on (at least in the Northern Hemisphere, we will begin incrementally returning to the dark days of Winter. The Summer Solstice is a time of celebration and fun. Many people are traveling or spending time with family. People are also harvesting (either crops or the fruits of their labor throughout the year).
At the same time, others are grieving the loss of loved ones, pets, jobs, economic abundance, state of the planet and/or country, etc. Grief comes in many shades and happens for a variety of reasons. This topic has been heavy on our family’s hearts and minds as the kids’ teacher (whom we have been with for the last 9 years) suddenly and unexpectedly transitioned from this life on Father’s Day.
Initially, like everyone involved, we felt complete shock and disbelief. Even now, several days later, I continue to experience bouts of shock, which morph into deep sadness, which flows into gratitude and a burst of energy to problem-solve (we still have one child displaced for the next school year). Then it cycles right back to, “I can’t even believe this is happening.” It just doesn’t seem real, starting the cycle all over again.
Throughout the decades, I’ve worked with a variety of people, offering support and holding their hand, as they walk through the treacherous path of grief. Fortunately, I know how to help myself and my family. To you, our community, I lovingly offer the following suggestions which can help anyone who is struggling with the ups and downs of the grieving process:
-If you’ve done EMDR therapy before, try using BLS before bedtime and focus on any aspect of the death as the “target”. Continue to work on it, tracking the SUD until it’s a 0. Here’s a link to my favorite. I’ve been using it nightly since hearing the news: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqSyf2gMVqc&t=3244s
-If you’ve not done EMDR before, I highly recommend finding a therapist who can help you process through the trauma of losing a loved one unexpectedly
-Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, or write them out in a journal. Don’t keep it all locked away, or suppressed. At times, we have to compartmentalize (like returning to work or caring for other family members). Know that it’s okay to cry and/or express emotion. That’s a really big part of being human. If you compartmentalize for part of the day, take time to express emotion or let it out.
-Don’t stop living through the grief. Try doing one thing each day which brings you joy. Work through any resistance to following a routine like reiki, exercise, prayer, or meditation (those things that fuel your life force energy)
-Remember what’s most important in life. It’s the little things. Stopping to smell the proverbial (or literal) roses. Surrounding yourself with Beauty (people you adore, things you cherish, doing things that bring you love and joy).
-And accept yourself, wherever you are in the process of grief. There are many stages to the grief process and everyone grieves in a different way and at different paces. There will be good days and bad days, so ride the waves.
I’m having visions of creating a community Despacho (sometime in the fall when it gets cooler – maybe in conjunction with the equinox). For this Despacho, I dream of creating a beautiful mandala to celebrate life, death, and transitions. If you want to participate, start thinking about things you’d like to bring. Date, time, and location to come soon. (To read more about Despacho Ceremony click here: http://despachoceremony.com/about/ )
*Photo Credit- Avery Siemer
