The Shadow is something many fear and a big factor in why some people won’t delve into the world of dreams, plant medicine, or psychedelics. What is the Shadow? To know the Shadow, we have to know about the inner workings of the psyche.

Whenever we go through stressful, challenging, or traumatic events in life, parts of our ego can fragment off. This is a normal part of the process of growth and/or evolution. Some of these ego parts fragment to the point of developing a persona, which in psychological terms would be described as Dissociative Identity Disorder. This occurs in a very small portion of the population. More commonly, people get stunted (emotionally) at the point (in development) where the trauma occurred. (We’ve all seen an adult in a grown physical body, having a complete and total temper-tantrum type meltdown over something seemingly trivial).

Everyone has ego parts because everyone goes through stress, challenges, and trauma. Psychology has developed an entire therapeutic intervention platform to address the parts, called IFS or Internal Family Systems. Some of the main parts the majority of people develop are Wounded Inner Child (Exiles), Protector (Managers) and/or Firefighters (Reactive-Emergent).

Additionally, we all have a Self which is the part which develops consciousness over a lifetime. (It’s the YOU that’s NOT a part.)  It’s the part we most deeply want to be connected with, also associated as the Higher Self or Consciousness. It’s the part that creates the opportunity for healing, growth, and development.

Many of the parts of the psyche or ego which carry heavy emotions like guilt, shame, and rejection can sometimes be exiled or hidden in the subconscious mind, meaning at times, when we feel triggered or are “activated” emotionally, we may operate or react from these otherwise hidden parts and not realize we’ve come out of our “Adult” self and have slipped into a Wounded Inner Child self.

This concept is affirmed in the shamanic traditions as well, where initiates are taught to find wounded parts, bring healing/understanding to them, then reincorporate or reintegrate then into the whole. Shaman call this process “Soul Retrieval” or “Soul Reintegration”. IFS is similar in that through therapy, the client works to discover the parts, understand them, and ultimately integrate them into the Self, bringing a sense of wholeness and balance.

More and more people are starting to actually experience these other parts coming online in real time. It happened to me recently. I happened to be driving and I felt under a tremendous amount of pressure. There was a lot of change happening in my life, most of which was completely out of my control. I literally felt a younger part completely take hold of myself and getting triggered and attempting to react. Fortunately, I was aware of what was happening and was able to begin an inner dialogue with that part, asking what part of me is reacting in this way? What does she feel like she is missing? How can I help support her? What does she need right now. I became flooded with imagery of where the issue was (in my body, in my life, in my energy field), and I knew I needed love and acceptance. I stopped at a red light, gave myself a hug, tapped on myself until I had to drive again, and filled my mind with positive thoughts and emotions.

I still have some work to do and intend to use Cacao to explore this further. I wanted to share since it’s coming up with others these last few weeks as well. The Shadow self is the proverbial “devil” sitting on the shoulder. It’s the part that secretly wants things like retaliation, justice, violence (to self and others). It’s the part that gets repressed in every single child because of programs like “nice” girls and boys “don’t x, y, z”. We all get messaging revolving around not behaving in certain ways or expressing certain emotions in certain ways (which are judged or deemed as inappropriate by parents, grandparents, caregivers, teachers, etc).

As a result, those parts of self that need expression, get repressed, and they go and hide in the Shadow (subconscious), until they are “triggered” and come out unexpectedly, usually in the form of rage. We all have repressed rage. Every bit of rage is energy and that energy will require expression of some sort at some point in time.

Aside from IFS, EMDR, and/or working with a shaman on soul retrieval, there are ways we can work with parts and move through rage:

1.) Flower Essences- Scarlet Monkeyflower is an amazing remedy for clearing rage: https://store.fesflowers.com/flower-essences/quintessentials-flower-essences/scarlet-monkeyflower.html
2.) When you feel an intense emotion surfacing, hit the mattress on your bed with a plastic bat or pillow. Continue in this manner until you experience catharsis. This isn’t a one and done process. You’ll have to do it over and over again until the energy of rage is gone.
3.) Read There are No Bad Parts by Richard Swartz https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3ID6DHB3LB3YH&keywords=there+are+no+bad+parts&qid=1692289727&sprefix=there+are+no+bad+parts%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-1
4.) Start to notice when you’re feeling dysregulated. Stop and ask yourself, what part of me is upset right now or feeling this feeling and journal about what comes up. This will help you get a sense of which parts of you create ongoing distress.
5.) Use a kundalini practice to move energy through the body consistently
6.) Meditate with the same purpose as #5. This is a great meditation for processing emotions: https://www.3ho.org/meditation/stress-relief-and-clearing-the-emotions-of-the-past/
7.) Work with a therapist or healer who can help you identify the parts and bring unity and wholeness to your Self.