We have all heard the saying, “The one thing that’s constant in life is change,” and it’s true. It’s the one thing we can consistently depend upon.
At some point earlier in the year, I decided I no longer wanted to live in fear (the notion may have coincided with the person driving their car into my office). A few months later, I also decided I give too many chances (probably as a result of deeply rooted fears of rejection). These two changes in my thinking, lead to a series of truly fortunate events, which have unfolded gradually over the course of this year.
Doing the podcast was challenging. I don’t really enjoy being on camera or having attention directed towards me. Saying yes, though, was an affirmation to my soul, that I am ready for growth and change. In facing that fear, and moving through it, many opportunities have opened.
For example, I synchronistically got into the new office I’ve been pining after. This is allowing me to share space and collaborate with other female small business owners. Business owners who believe in helping people find peace of mind, body, and spirit. I’ve met some really terrific people and am creating some wildly fantastic new connections with an abundance of opportunity for collaboration! The Cacao Ceremonies are exploding in popularity just as I have a new space with a bigger area to include more people!
Through the connections in my new office space, I met a delightful woman named Elyssa Hernandez, who is a Nature Therapist. We connected at a wellness event and immediately I sensed a connection. That sense was confirmed when we realized how much we have in common. We were feeling goosebumps on our arms as each of us spoke of various experiences. Knowing it was my birthday, the lunar eclipse, and I was preparing for a medicine session, she invited me out to some sacred land for something she calls a “Walkabout”.
For me, a Walkabout is something like a Vision Quest. From beginning to end, it felt very magical. Elyssa has a way with nature, and a way with people, and a way of bridging the gaps between the two. We started by gathering things that meant something for each of us. We then sat across from one another, and each took turns placing the items onto a mandala, speaking what each represented to us. It was interesting because we had replicated a few items.
My intention for the walkabout was to be open and work through any fears about going into medicine. I should note here that as soon as I picked up the map, I knew I needed to go to the Wolf Ridge Trail. Elyssa guided me through a series of somatic movements (yoga to stretch out my hips, knowing I’d be walking) and a thoughtful meditation. In the meditation, I saw a wolf who affirmed I would be going to Wolf Ridge, as there was something there for me.
Elyssa allowed me to follow my heart’s speak about where I felt compelled to walk. The entire process was ceremonious and I felt a great reverence throughout. She used a singing bowl to send me off, creating a portal through which I entered.
It was hot that day and I was sweating. I walked past a graveyard, which was certainly calling to me. It didn’t feel like the right time to be there, so I walked past. (I will mention here that Elyssa taught me a new way of muscle testing in order to get affirmative answers to questions I had while on my journey).
I saw a large bird land in a tree in front of me. I thought perhaps it was a hawk or an eagle. It felt like she was pointed me further on the trail so I continued. Shortly thereafter, I realized I’d hit a dead end, complete with a sign stating “Dead End”. I looked around the area and saw three bird feathers on the ground, which I picked up for our mesa/mandala. Thirsty, I sat under a tree and drank some water and rested. (I was fasting at the time, which was also advised). The tree was a cedar tree and I noticed the trunk was twisty (like it was in a vortex) and there were spots of resin glistening in the sunlight. It was truly beautiful and definitely felt like a reprieve from the brilliance and heat of the sun! I heard children laughing an singing, in the distance, though I don’t believe anyone was actually there.
After my break I walked across the trail, making my way back the way I came. I noticed I wasn’t as fearful of being alone as I had been when I was experiencing Wild Horse Island. I also noticed a ridge just off trail in the woods. I sat there and wondered whether that was “Wolf Ridge”. I wrote in my journal and marveled at the beauty of the forest. I heard a voice say, “You are ready. What’s done is done. Your destiny is written in the stars. We humans thinks we need so many things. We don’t. We only need love and an open heart to give and receive.” (The medicine I was planning on using is all about heart expansion/opening). I then had a vision of a spot I’d passed earlier. It drew my attention, because it was a tree ring, with what looked like a giant bunch of racks of antlers. It was actually tree branches, as I got closer.
That’s when I saw the yellow flag, marking the actual Wolf Ridge Trail! I walked in a little ways and could hear the forest calling to me. I yearned to enter, however knew I’d agreed to meet my guide back at a specific time. In honoring that promise, I had to leave, which felt sad in a sense.
As I emerged from the path, my backpack unzipped itself and ALL of the contents fell out. I carefully picked everything up and put it all back. I realized I was under the spot where the hawk or owl had been. When Elyssa greeted me again, she dinged the singing bowl to represent my emergence from the portal, and a closing of the portal. As we walked back to our spot by the mandala, we were joined by 6 bluebirds. Elyssa guided me to a bench under a tree where I wrote about my experiences. I thought I heard a coyote in the background.
This experience helped me in many ways. I understood at a deeper level the need to listen to what the forest has to say and use the tools I’m given (such as the muscle testing) to verify the answers to questions (like is this the correct direction for the Wolf Ridge Trail). I learned that the symbols are subtle and we must have keen eyes to see and ears to hear. I learned that my heart’s desire is to open to giving and receiving and that all I actually need is love.
We then had some integration time, where I felt blessed by Elyssa’s intuitive wisdom. We each selected some cards and she pulled some that were reflective of some of the animals, insects, and reptiles we had seen throughout the day.
In hindsight, this was exactly what I needed to prepare for the ceremony I would be attending the following weekend. I didn’t know it at the time, but in the forest, I was gathering resolve. I was connecting with my innate knowingness, which would make it super easy to make hard decisions that were just around the bend. The Dead End was an important foreshadowing, as was the getting off track and yet, using heart-speak and intuition to find my way with perfect clarity (more about that in the next newsletter!).
If anyone is feeling called or compelled to work with Nature in a therapeutic/ceremonious manner, I highly recommend doing a Walkabout with Elyssa! Here is a link to her web page! https://www.heartleafnaturetherapy.com/
*For anyone who missed the podcast interview, check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnYkR-Xm07g&t=3s
