I travelled a few weekends ago, thinking I was going to participate in a medicine ceremony. The medicine is all about heart opening. I’d been doing a deep dive into my own programming, conditioning, and false beliefs and felt like a ceremony would effectively assist me in creating a deep inner shift.
As I mentioned in the previous newsletter, it wasn’t until I arrived for the ceremony that I felt completely off. It was something about the harshness of the “entry point” of the medicine. I was told I’d need to let go of all fear and all sensation in the body in order to successfully make it into the heart space. To me, it felt like the body sensations would be overwhelming and at this point, I’m looking for more gentility in my life. (The body sensations would feel like a heart/panic attack, sweating, heat, etc.) I sat with the uneasy, feeling, then muscle tested, which affirmed a “no”. I realized in that moment, what I thought was the path, was actually a dead end (which was foreshadowed for me in my Walkabout just a week prior!)
Trusting my intuition (which has been a journey in and of itself), I made the decision to leave early without participating. Instead, I felt compelled to visit a childhood friend who lived nearby. She was hosting a sourdough making class that weekend and she had offered me some starter.
Making sourdough is a labor of love, and it wasn’t until I started doing the integration work from the weekend that I realized the sourdough was a perfect metaphor for the journey itself. Like the journey of life itself, sourdough has to be folded into itself many times over. It requires a lot of time, patience, and true love for the journey itself. And of course, the end product is completely worth all of the effort!
I realized that in following my intuition, and putting myself where I FELT right, was THE BEST decision. I got every ounce of “medicine” from simply visiting my friend and her providing and holding the space for me to verbally process everything I was experiencing. My friend mentioned she had been doing a deep dive into her Human Design. She asked if I had heard of it. I explained I had. I had my chart and everything, but didn’t know much about how to interpret it.
She introduced a book called The Gene Keys which was a game changer for me. Because of the work she’d been doing, she was able to hold tremendous space for the massive internal conflict I was experiencing. It was profound, observing her in her guru (Highest Self). I felt inspired to do my own deep dive and now I’m helping some of my clients looking into their Human Design as well. The work we did together that weekend not only deepened our friendship, but it helped me to course correct as I realized my very Human Design is impacting me in a way that wasn’t serving me (because much of the time, I was operating from programming or the shadow aspect, not knowing what the different between the shadow and Light were). Knowing what I know now, I can make different choices and approach conflict in a completely different way. My friend referred me to her friend, Brandi (whom I’ll write more about in a future newsletter).
I’ve been working with Brandi for three weeks and it’s been very transformational. I now understand the Human Design (a lot like an astrological chart- because that’s part of it) is a roadmap to destiny. This is also synchronous because I’m working my way through The Sophia Code right now in the Mother Mary Chapter and her work is ALL about aligning people with their destinies!
Even now, weeks later, as I lovingly pour into this sourdough and the sourdough feeds my precious family, I’m reminded of the love my friend poured into me and how it cracked my heart wide open (which is what I had originally intended for the ceremony!)
It’s crazy and awe inspiring as how the Universe works with such precision!
If anyone is curious about their own Human Design, you can get your chart for free here. (If you want help with your Gene Key, you can schedule a session and I’m happy to guide you!) https://freehumandesignchart.com/
